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Nicholas Hardesty

Nicholas Hardesty

Lent is here. That means it’s time to consider anew what we might embrace and what we might discard in order to grow in holiness and prepare ourselves for the resurrection of the Lord.

I usually try to use this time to overcome a bad habit. Sometimes I’m victorious, sometimes I’m not. But I keep trying.

What’s helpful for me is to be more aware of the steps from temptation to giving in. If I remain aware of what these steps are, then I can seize any one of them and pursue the good, before it’s too late. After all, I don’t want to just seize the moment to share my faith or to proclaim the gospel. I also want to seize the moment to be holy, or to be, as Matthew Kelly says, the best-version-of-myself.

I’ll be speaking specifically about the steps from temptation to sin, but this exercise is useful for avoiding any bad habit we want to overcome. Also, I’ll be referring to the devil because he’s a ready foil in the back and forth dialogue between ourselves and what tempts us. But, temptation doesn’t just come from the devil. It also comes from “the flesh” – our own bodily passions and desires – and the world, which is always competing for our time and attention.

Step 1: Recognizing

First, we become aware of a temptation. A voice pipes up: “You could steal that, ya know?” We are tempted to commit certain sins because they speak to a desire we have. But, the fact that we have particular desires or are tempted to heed them in unjust ways does not mean that we have sinned. We sin only when we act on the temptation.

The key is to banish the temptation as soon as we recognize it, to turn around and run in the other direction. If we debate with the devil, then he will almost always win. The best thing to do is to not let him have his say.

Step 2: Approaching

But, let’s say we don’t flee. Instead we say, “Really? Tell me more?” Then we are approaching.

In this case, we don’t remove ourselves from the near occasion of sin. Instead, we draw nearer to it. We meet the devil in his chambers. We invite him to make his case. If the bad habit is over-eating, this would be opening the cupboard where the cookies are. If the addiction is alcoholism, this would be stepping into the bar.

Step 3: Listening

Listening means nourishing an interest in that which is sinful. In this step, not only have we invited the devil to make his case, but we are now listening intently and receptively. We may even be delighting in what he has to say.

Of course, once the cupboard is open, then come all the reasons for eating: “No one will know.” “Just this once.” “I deserve this.” “This is the only way I’ll feel better.” “I can’t help it.” “I can just go to Confession later.”

Step 4: Yielding

And with that, we yield. We give in. The reasons are too many and too convincing, even though they are contrary to reason. We accept the lies as the truth and we do what we were tempted to do.

But, just because we’ve yielded, that doesn’t mean the devil is through with us. Once the pleasure fades and we begin to feel disheartened, the tempter likes to fill us with self-loathing and despair so that we’ll abandon the effort to resist him. “You’re such a wreck.” “You fall every time.” “Why do you even bother?”

Not So Fast

This is why the moment of yielding must also be the moment in which we pick ourselves up and try again. With a little bit of knowledge and a whole lot of grace, this step does not have to be the end. Instead, we can seize even this moment of failure, and we can rededicate ourselves to making the next moment a truer and better one.

 

Nicholas Hardesty

As Catholics, we like anonymity. We like to blend into the crowd. We don’t wear yarmulkes like Orthodox Jews, or plain clothes like the Amish. We can generally go unnoticed.

Until Ash Wednesday.

With that big, ashen cross on our foreheads, everyone knows who we are. It’s a sign that says, “Look at me! I’m a Catholic!”

What can you do? You can hide your ashes or wash them off. You can hit up that evening Mass and then go straight home so that no one sees you. But, we’re all about seizing the moment here, so I want to challenge you to “rock your ashes” instead. Here are five reasons why you should keep your cross and wear it proudly on Ash Wednesday.

1. It builds courage. “You can do it, you can do it.” I have to pump myself up before I can go out in public on Ash Wednesday. My version of “putting out into the deep” (Luke 5:4) is stepping into Kroger. But I do it because it builds courage. If I can find the strength to step out, then I can start a conversation. I can answer a question, extend an invitation, or pray with someone. Wearing that cross is a school in the courage I need to evangelize.

2. It increases humility and honesty. “Why are you so afraid?” Every year I ask myself that. I don’t know about you, but for me it’s pride. Pride is the source of my reluctance. If people notice me, then they’ll find out I’m a big Catholic imposter. They’ll find out I don’t have all the answers, I don’t have it all together, and I’m not that holy.

Pride fights to never be exposed. But, if you’re open, Ash Wednesday can inspire you to be honest about who you really are. Who are you? You’re a Catholic. You’re broken. You’re returning to dust one day, and you’re probably not ready yet. Ash Wednesday says, “No more hiding.” Let’s acknowledge who we are, and then we can help each other be better.

3. It provides seize-able moments. If you ever needed a conversation-starter, this is it. Walk through Kroger with a cross on your forehead and see what happens. Some people will look at you and keep walking. Couples will wonder in hushed tones, “What’s that all about?” Others will just ask you directly.

For me, it’s always the cashier. I preach the gospel to more cashiers on Ash Wednesday than any other day of the year. Think about it: That time when she’s scanning groceries and you’re just standing there – that’s a moment. We’re called to seize those moments. Ash Wednesday gives them to us in abundance.

4. It emphasizes morality and mortality. “Remember, you are dust and to dust you shall return.” You’re going to die one day. It’s a sobering truth, and if you’re like me you try not to think about it. You may even avoid things that remind you of death, like hospitals and nursing homes.

But, Ash Wednesday forces you to acknowledge your mortality. And, when you look death square in the face, moral decisions take on a whole new gravity. Are you cavalier about sin because death is far off? Or, are you choosing the good right now because you could die tomorrow? As St. John Vianney once said, “To die well we must live well.”

5. It is the cost of discipleship. “If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). It’s the hallmark of a disciple to do what we are considering here. And, as Luke adds, we’re supposed to do this daily. Of course, it’s not always a literal cross, but, if we’re following Jesus, it’s always there. Our pains, our humiliations, our persecutions, our sacrifices – they’re always there. Ash Wednesday reminds us to take them up bravely, like Jesus did, because it’s the only way to be where He is — in heaven, the fruit of a cross carried with Christ.

 

Nicholas Hardesty

“What do you want me to do, Lord?”

We all know someone who is wrestling with this question. It could be a child, a spouse, a coworker, or a friend. If they see us as holy or knowledgeable, if we are close with them or in authority over them, they may ask us, “What do you think I should do?” We want to be able to seize that moment.

This can be a difficult question to answer, and there are many different ways to do it. Here are three steps that I would recommend.

Ask the Right Questions

In order to answer the big question of what God’s Will is, we have to answer a series of smaller questions first. Try praying with the following:

  • Will this help me fulfill the duties of my state in life? What does my state in life allow?

  • Does it make sense based on my skills and talents?

  • What are the pros and cons of each option?

  • What does my conscience tell me about the morality of each option?

These questions will help us filter out the noise of life and dig down to the heart of what God wants for us.

Begin Living Differently

After a couple has been married several years, they don’t have to ask each other what they desire in a given situation. They just know. They’ve shared enough of their lives together to intuit the will of the other.

We can have that same intuitive relationship with God, once we begin living differently. Just by improving our prayer lives, receiving the sacraments regularly, and looking for the fruits of the Spirit, we can foster the kind of relationship with God that makes it easier to discern His Will.

A few minutes a day: Prayer is key. It’s how we get to know God and grow to love Him better. The more we know and love God, the better we can discern His Will. Even a few minutes a day can make all the difference. Choose a time, a place, and a method of praying and you will be well on your way.

Grace for the keeping: Sin darkens the intellect and weakens the will – the two things God gave us to discern His Will. The remedy is grace, which we receive through the Mass and the Sacraments. Try going to Confession at least once a month – it’s easy if you schedule it! Also, see if there’s a parish nearby that offers a quick Mass you can attend during your lunch break.

Flesh and fruit: In Galatians 5:19-23, Paul lists the works of the flesh and the fruits of the Spirit (look them up!). If we make decisions out of the works of the flesh, we will almost always choose wrongly. But, if we make decisions out of the fruits of the Spirit, or if we see the Spirit bear these fruits after we make a decision, we can be sure we have chosen rightly.

Follow Your Heart

It’s true, our hearts are not infallible. As Jeremiah said, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately corrupt; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). The heart may not be the only guide we use when discerning God’s Will, but it can be one of them. After all, God created the “heart,” the inner-life where the soul, will, and desires are located. He planted desires there as a way to draw us to Him. If our hearts leap at the thought of an action, there’s something to that.

So, it’s worth hearing what the heart has to say – and if we love God and are filled with His love, then our hearts will be worth following. As Augustine said, “Love God, and then do what you will.”

That’s probably the best advice anyone could give.

 

Nicholas Hardesty